Do You Run or Fight for What You Believe In ?

by MarsDorian

I remember a kid in my high school time. He was small, weak and always got picked on. One day, the bully in my class felt pretty bad-ass and started a fight with the poor kid. I thought “ Jeez, this guy is going to tear the little one apart !”

I have never seen a losing kid fighting so furiously. The little guy was taking all the hits, but boy, was he defending himself – Scratching, screaming, spitting – he had not much firepower to return, but the little he got he used well.
The battle took way longer than I thought. The teacher finally came and interrupted the fight. Officially, the bully had won. But he was bleeding and seemingly shocked about the stormy litte kid. And you know what ? The bully never touched the kid again.

One day I asked him why, since he won the battle by a landslide. You know the what he said ?

“The kid’s not worth the trouble.”

You VS. Them

Last Wednesday, the worst nightmare of a digital entrepreneur happened to me:
My notebook was hot as hell, the fan sounded like a jet turbine and it smelled like burned machinery. Within minutes, I received weird messages from Windows telling me to replace my hard disk. Panic was coming over me, and I quickly backed up all my files. As soon as I finished, the computer died right before my eyes.

I immediately called HP customer service and told them what was happening. They checked my data and said I my guarantee wasn’t valid anymore. That wasn’t true, since I had one more week left, but the service told me that the guarantee starts when the product is produced, and NOT when I buy it at the shop. I said “You are full of shit. That’s not true”

We battled over an hour. I hung up, and called again. I hung up, and called again. For hours.
And then, on my last call:
Listen, I have talked to the consumer union ( for guarding the right of every customer ) and they told me that you are lying. The guarantee starts when I buy the product, not when you produce it in the factory. Things will get pretty nasty if you keep playing this game. And the woman answered:
“Well, if you send us your receipt, I GUESS we can make that work as well”.

I GUESS up my ass. I still had one week of guarantee left, and the HP customer service was trying to get me out. They were trying, but I was annoying them so much, they finally relented. This is what they must have thought:

“The kid’s not worth the trouble”

You VS. Them – 2nd Example

When water was leaking through my ceiling, I called the corporation who owned my flat and told them to fix it. My whole ceiling started to deteriorate, and I had heaps of water dripping down on my bed. The corporation said they will fix it, but they never did it. I kept calling and calling, but I always got the same answer – “We have no money to fix it, please be patient” – which was complete bullshit, because they are the most profitable company in the city.
I said to myself :”Mars, they are trying to screw you. Are you letting that happen ?”

Hell no.

I got help from my mum and learned everything I could about my rights. I kept calling, and calling and annoying the shit out of them. Still no reaction. One day, I made my last call. I said:” Listen, I have joined the tenant union and told them my problem, and they assured me that I will get a kick-ass lawyer to sue you !”

On the next day, 5 craftsmen came and fixed my entire ceiling.

It’s fascinating how fast people react if you mean serious business.

In the bible it says:
“But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
I don’t know what Jesus was smoking when he wrote that. When somebody strikes you, be sure to show him that he will NEVER strike you again.

Conclusion:

I don’t believe in evil, but some people always want to try things and see if they can get away with it. The status quo expects you to be a small sheep, not raising your voice even when it’s your right.

Remember the kid in the beginning ? It didn’t matter that he was the David fighting Goliath – he knew his rights and stood up for them. I want you to become that little kid that nobody messes with.
Don’t waste time and energy on vengeance – just stand for your rights and show people that they won’t get away with screwing you.
The world doesn’t need a timid person that takes all the hits because that’s what the others do. The world needs a person who says “No way, it’s my good damn right and I will stand up for it”.

Will you be that kind of person ?

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http://www.murlu.com Murlu

So many people want to screw you over in the world; you can't bitch out and fall to their games – it happens every day and you're right, they DO expect you to back down and fall in line but it's not that we're attacking the person on the other end – we're going after the system.

We can't be screwed with when we know our rights and what we want. We can't be push overs because that's how they keep us in the endless cycle of consumption and stupor.

You have to question EVERYTHING – even if you agree with it. That's what makes a person open; more susceptible to become a great individual – when they're not ready to back down (like the smaller kid).

As it goes – fuck the system. I don't want to play their game and I'm sure as hell going to put up a fight when someone else tries to screw me.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Murray,
  
  woah – that's right. Always fight back when people want to screw you.
  Always show them that no one can mess with you – stand for your rights and say “To hell with it – not with me !”
  
  Just needed to show this – real life experience of what it means get up when peeps expect you to go “down” ;)
  
  I'm glad we share the same mindset, Murray. Fight…for your right ;)
http://www.elevatedsimplicity.com EL

I agree Mars everyone should stand up for themselves, but to a certain degree.

I would stand up for myself and every other David out there and it ended up being so detrimental to my health I have to really limit how much others get to me. I became the angry, pissed off guy that thought every little thing was a David and Goliath battle and I ended up in several fights, arrested multiple times all because I had lost perspective.

Fight for what you believe in, don't lose perspective and don't let others change you into something your not.

What say you bro?

Eric
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Eric,
  
  wow, I believe I have never gotten to the level where you have been.
  As for me – I never lose temper and go wild, but I make sure as heck that people don't screw with me. For me it's more a battle with authorities – companies and corporations. But I agree, you should never lose your focus or perspective.
  Whenever I engage, I ask myself: Is this going to be worth it ?
  If not, I'm just wasting precious energies.
  Thanx for your insights, Eric, I appreciate your experience.
  - El
    
    Yea I was a real hot head pisser back in the day…
http://www.moremoo.com Adam

Impressive post Mars, it seems like the majority of the people on this planet belong to Wolves or sheeps.

Wolves are here to hunt, to avoid the general rules to make them work for them and to profit. This group of people rules the world.

On the other hand sheeps respect all the rules, they never stand up for others or event for themselves. They walk through the life accepting hits from wolves.

I do not feel like a wolf, but I refuse to be a sheep as well.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Yeah – there must be a third tribe – like the shepherd who overviews everything and is independent.
  
  God knows we don't need any more sheep in this world, nor do we need the wolves who just exploit people.
  
  Let's really be the kick-ass shepherd :)
ralphcarlson

I have to confess that I have never pushed myself to be 'not worth the trouble' but your post gives me a whole nuther perspective. I do know how to be annoying. I just need to develop more stamina.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Haha, never be annoying for the sake of being annoying Ralph,
  but when someone wants to screw with you make sure you stand up and say:” Not with me”.
  Especially if it's a big, faceless corporation not giving you the service you deserve !!
RyanRenfrew

Hey Mars

Good for you. Fight your corner bru. I hate the way big corperations think they can bully and push the small guy around. I salute you Mars. We all need to stand up and make our voices heard.

bLAZE yOUR tRAIL

Ryan
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Ryan,
  
  yeah – they have insane amounts of money, but they still try to screw you over when it comes to your rights as a customer. It's insane.
  I make sure that I NEVER buy from HP again.
  :)
Justin Guzman

Just like my blog ive got to be such a pain in the ass in the comments that someone will eventually click over to my blog to see why im such a pain in the ass. Err not sure if it translates this way heh. Cool post Mars, I love to see people conquering big corporations it is always a good stories.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Haha,
  
  Not sure I conquered anything, but I knew my rights and I stood up for them. I wrote this post to show everyone and you should never back down !
  Too many people still do, and we need to change that !
mcculloj

I always believe in trying to fight everything you possibly can, and have been on the receiving end of people trying to get me to give them everything I possibly can. It's absolutely brutal dealing with people who never let up even when they are actually wrong. Most of the time, I would give in a bit, but other times, I had to stand my ground because they were trying to screw the business over.

I would also be a bit cautious in how agressive you are with your actions/language when dealing with a business that is reciprocal in nature (they give you something, you give them back something) beyond pure cash transactions. In some cases, fighting for something will piss off the other party so much that they will shut you out of future business and try to shut you down through their interactions with other business owners. Best to try to reach some sort of compromise to avoid that situation, which really only applies to businesses and small town/small market operations.

Funny side story though is the couple who fought against Google about invading their privacy through Google Street View. 2+ years of fighting in court, they won the battle, and were awarded… $1.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey mcculloj,
  yeah – I always aim for the harmonic approach first. But when the other side doesn't respond, and you get the feeling that nevertheless want to screw you, it's time to show them serious business.
  
  I would never start a fight for the sake of it, and that's soo useless. But especially bigger corporations don't act unless you threaten them. It's sad, but true !
http://www.jessilicious.com Jess Webb

Hey Mars!

Well said! You are so right. Far too often I have kept quiet and just put up with stuff, instead of standing up for what I want and what I have a right to. Thank you for this reminder to be more persistent in going after what I want and not letting people screw with me. :)
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Jess,
  
  I believe it's social conditioning that makes you stay quiet. You don't want to stand out in the negative way, and that's why one rather preferes to do nothing when every right is on his / her side.
  I worked hard on getting rid of that conditioning, and it's showing results.
  Never let anyone walk over your rights, Jess :)
  - http://www.beachbettypr.com Beachbettypr
    
    It totally IS social conditioning. We're told from a very young age to mind our manners, not speak out of turn, to BEHAVE, then we grow up and go to school and are taught to raise your hand, be on time, memorize this and that and not to question things. It's no wonder we go into society thinking that same way. Like timid sheep.
    
    Good on ya for calling that out, Mars!
http://www.ideasbubble.com Peter J

A guy in my brothers year who was a weak shit, asked his teacher if he could go beat up another kid bullying him. The teacher ignored him knowing that he would get his face smashed. But the weak kid came back after completely destroying the kid; no one ever pissed him off after that…

I agree that we should never back down on anything or everyone will always get the best of you. Someone is always going to be out there, trying to get the best of you for their own gain.

Even if your a useless bastard who can't do anything, rub it in your enemies face's that you still exist, because simply living, is the biggest humiliation to the people who hate you the most, so let them see that your there.

Awesome post. If someone doesn't abide by the rules they originally agreed on, fuck everything that they do and piss them off until they make changes. I like it :D
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  jeez Peter, you are on fire :)
  
  I hate physical fighting, but standing up for your rights is a big go-go for me.
  I always prefer the harmonic approach – the win-win situation, but some people just don't want to try things out with you and see if they can get away with it. I never let them :)
Laubster

It’s unfortunate, but I became much mores successful and respected when I started being more assertive and maybe even somewhat of a jerk. I made a horrible decision and let an acquaintance borrow a rental car I had paid for on my credit card. He crashed it and the owner of the rental company had to fly to where it was located and drive it back. I had to work a whole summer to pay it off, but the lesson I learned was worth it. That experience made me promise myself I would never let anyone take advantage of me again. Not only am I better at identifying situations where people could be trying to take advantage of me, I usually don’t even have to make that much of a fuss when I do have to stand up for myself.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Laubster,
  
  thanks for sharing your story – that's terrible. Your acquaintance didn't pay the money for you ? That sucks.
  Sorry for the event, but it did help you to get rethink your actions. It's so important to show people what you are all about. If you respect your boundaries, so will they.
Cleveland Dietz

Hey Mars,

This is something I really struggle with.

I used to bend to the will of everyone around me. Didn't matter what the issue was–it could've been as small as not doing a play to something as big as the house friends and I were renting being foreclosed on because our landlords didn't pay the mortgage with the rent we paid. When shit hit the fan–I just accepted it.

These days, I can summon the courage to fight back sometimes, but usually only if other people are victims, too. Those rare occasions that I do it for myself, though, have really stuck with me. I feel like I'm getting a little better over time as I appreciate my self-worth more. And that's all it really is, isn't it? If you appreciate your own value, you don't let others stamp it out.

You're right, the world doesn't need more mindless followers.

Thanks for the reminder/encouragement!
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey man,
  
  it takes time and practice. I was pretty silent myself for a number of years, but I knew I needed to change. A lot of people try things with you to see if they can get away with it. If they do, they will screw you, again and again.
  It all starts with knowing what you believe in and standing up for your rights.
  Always know what you are worth – and never NEVER let other people walk over you !
http://believethelies.net Odtaa

I think you should choose your fights. And when you fight – fight to win. Your fight with HP was right – once you told them that you were going to follow the legal route then you had won.

I had a similar problem with a hosting company. I'd bought a year's subscription. They changed the system adding a weird non-standard security system and like you I had to threaten legal action before they'd give me a rebate.

Sometimes it's better not to fight. I used to work in a college and I managed to negotiate a big government grant for a new computer room. However, there was some dodgy dealing with a manager – I'd made him look bad as he should have chased this money and he had a 'special arrangement' with a computer dealer, which couldn't supply the industry standard equipment we needed.

So this guy started causing trouble for me. As I done a good job I assumed other managers would stop him, but instead they started backing him. I should have just walked then and got another job. But I started the formal complaint system etc. As a result two years later I left, but the bastards have black listed me.

So think carefully before you fight. Know who you are going to fight. Then fight to win.

I always play gently to start with find out their arguments, (I usually tape phone conversations), and then when I am well prepared go in heavy.

I'm lucky now as I have free legal advice with my house insurance so I know the preceise words to say. So in the UK the magic words 'Not fit for purpose' would get the HP and any other support line bending over backwards to be helpful.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Odtaa,
  
  wow – thanx for sharing your story – I had to re-read it twice.
  
  I'm sorry for the hassle you had to go through – though I'm glad you've left the place. A poisonous environment is going to kill you mentally in the long term.
  You are right – you need to be careful with your fights. I didn't start fighting with HP – I was going the harmonious route. But eventually, I had to raise my voice, as they wouldn't engage.
  I'll think about taping my sessions – that's a good backup if you have to face them in court.
  
  Thanx for your message.Keep up the fight !
  You shine !
http://hearmumroar.com Hear Mum Roar

I LOVE this post! I have noticed that with every year, I am becoming more and more that person. The more I stand up for myself, the more I find myself inadvertently identifying the weaknesses in the other person. It makes me realise that they are the ones trying to get away with what they always have.

I like to hope that these people will think twice before messing with their next victim
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Yeah, it's a process.
  The more you find the strength within you, the more you are seeing the lack of it in other people. I still cringe inside when I see other people getting “beaten up” verbally by lousy customers services from the big corps.
Ben

I loved this post and wanted to throw in an interesting tidbit that I think actually reinforces your article.

In Jesus' time it was acceptable only to use your right hand for most things, including striking someone. If you were to turn your cheek so that they could hit the left, they would have to do it with their right hand and would probably look quite foolish in doing so. The same things apply for the rest of the passage. When he tells people to give all of their clothes to someone who is suing them for a coat, it is because in their society shame would have been brought on someone who forced another person to lose all of their possessions and be forced to be naked. When he tells people to walk the extra mile carrying someone's pack, it is because Roman soldiers could force someone to carry their pack for a mile, but no further. If they did, they would be reprimanded for their actions by their superiors.

I am not saying this all as a defense of Christianity or Jesus, but as an example of different ways to fight back against those seemingly in power. These examples are sometimes cited in nonviolent protest resources as ways of fighting back against the structures in power in creative and different ways to bring about justice, which I feel fits right in with the theme of this article.

Thanks again for a great read.
- http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian
  
  Hey Ben,
  
  wow, thanx for all the background. I seriously had no idea – I just dropped the Jesus line because it fitted into my passage (well, according to me :)
  
  I respect your ways of nonviolent protest. But personally, I'd prefer to get loud when the harmonic way doesn't work it, and so far, it has worked a lot of times.
http://twitter.com/mikegrayton Mike Grayton

So true, but how sad that it's the case! I've learned this the hard way a number of times, but it is a bit depressing that you have to work that hard for a fair service.

I just plugged in my backup disk too… funny how the fear of a dead hard drive resonates…

Mike