How to Make People Remember You

increase your influence guy with an epic picture !

by MarsDorian

Let’s be honest here – it sucks to get ignored.

Whether it’s in the offline or online world, getting ignored is the kiss of death. If no one is paying attention to you, you are dying both in life and business.

Some people say criticism is worse than getting ignored, but it’s not. Criticism means “they”…

A) …want to help you become better

B) …hate your guts and want to make sure you know it

Either way, they care enough about you that they take the time to communicate with you.

A year ago I was a sleepwalking zombie. I was alive, but in a way, I wasn’t. My body was there, but my mind wasn’t. I did most things half-assed – conversations, work and .

My (business) life is still not at the epic level I want it to be, but those following steps have helped me play a different ga

open with a bang

Blow me away - thumbnail

Not gun related, personal attitude only !

Back in the old days I was introducing myself like everyone else – hey, my name is blah blah, what’s your name blah blah…where are you from blah blah.

Oh man, I almost feel sorry for my past self. I was young and foolish, but I have learned. Now, I make sure the first encounter hits hard.

  • I’m fully present. It’s just me and the person at that moment.
  • I make sure they get my name the first time. Mine’s Mars, and I always add: like the red planet !

Say something which makes it easier to remember your name. If your name is standard or difficult to recall, break it down. Use a picture, or a funny anecdote to help people remember it. I had a small friend called Felix, and he’d always add: like Felix the cat ! People never forgot.

  • Start with an unusual opener. This works for both email and real life talk. Say or write something which is out of the ordinary. A line which captures one’s full attention because it’s unusual. I wrote a first time message to a blogger recently where I said that reading his blog was almost better than sex ! Not only was this true, but it also helped him remember me. Who else starts an intro like that ? Not many. And that’s your asset.

Do something valuable and unique in the opener. Make sure the person remembers your name.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.

You’ve just shot yourself into your target’s memory

if you want to be interesting, be interested

I read this line in some book and thought it was utter rubbish. Being interested in something or someone doesn’t really make you interesting, or does it ?

This is my experience:

A year ago, I went to an artsy-fartsy exhibition. I met this one guy, somewhere in his forties, vibrating with joy. I asked him what’s happening, and he started talking about his “amazing” project – establishing a Zeppelin company together with a pilot school.

zeppelin-over-new-york

Now I couldn’t care less about Zeppelins. All I knew was that they got shot down like crazy during World War 2, and that didn’t scratch my interest. But I admired his passion for the topic, and I faked interest in the beginning. Sooner than later, I became really interested in his talk.

I started asking questions:

How big is your Zeppelin going to be ? What, you want to establish your own pilot academy for that ? How do you actually hand-build a prototype ?

Questions over questions and 3 hours later, I was a semi-expert on Zeppelins.

When I met this guy again a few months later, he was still raving about our “conversation”. He remembered my name, and thanked me for being such a grrreat conversationalist.

What, me ? But I only asked questions ! Exactamente ! The guy found me interesting because I was interested.

Sadly, most people aren’t interested. The good thing is when you are, and you show it, you will EASILY stand out.

  • when you talk to someone, make it a conscious effort to be interested in what the person has to say. Even if it’s the most trivial trash in the world, ask yourself silently: what is interesting about the person and his/her topic ? You will ALWAYS find something.
  • same goes for online relationships. If you read a post or a comment, approach it with an open mind. What’s interesting about it ? Find it and give feedback (a thank you note or a compliment ?). People will thank you for being interested…and will remember you.

(Hint: it also works for women !)

close with a bang

It not only matters how you start, but how you finish, and I don’t mean going six feet under.

When the (online) conversation is about to end, how do you finish ?

I actually have a history of finishing horribly. Especially with women and girls. When the energy was the lowest, that’s when I said goodbye. Argh !

Good luck with calling them after that. Game over !

Let that never happen to you. Whether is an offline or Skype conversation, always…ALWAYS leave that person on a high !

And I don’t mean drugging them, but leaving them feel-good.

Are they laughing ? Smiling ? Feeling really good ?

When the energy is goood, THAT’S when you say goodbye !

Why ? Because when they see and talk to you again, they remember the last thing that they associated with you. And if that happened to be a good feeling, then you just hit their jackpot !

Profile2009 conclusion

I wish I did this all the time, but honestly, I don’t. Using these approaches demands a lot of energy and attention. But whenever I want to make a meaningful relationship or impact, I do it.

What do you do to make people remember you ?

Shoot me in the comments !

And please retweet and Facebook-share this message !

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  • http://twitter.com/thedigitalbox digitalbox

    excellent article, excellent blog! Thank you Mars

  • http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan Biddulph

    Hi Mars,

    Great stuff buddy.

    In the online world I write insightful comments to make sure that the author – and readers of comments – remember me. Yeah, I used to be the comment Drive By guy, in and out in a moment's notice but learned that this isn't the way to show interest.

    I always note a particular comment or idea from your post – like the Zeppelin Guy conversation, for instance(great advice) – to show you that:

    1 – I took the time to read the entire post.

    2 – I appreciate your creativity and want to compliment you.

    And as always, I thank the author directly. Everybody likes props, especially backed up with some evidence of why I liked your post.

    Ryan Biddulph

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      “I used to be the comment Drive By guy”

      guilty as well, Ryan. In the beginning, it was all about being everywhere and dropping as many comments as possible for selfish reason. But that horse doesn't ride anymore, and I want to bring more value to the table.
      I know you do it right, because your comments absolutely rock !
      They show that you clearly read the post, and that you have valuable feedback to give !
      Awe-some work my friend ;)

  • http://www.itarsenal.com/ Rob

    Mars, this is so in line with my current goals, awesome stuff. I'm always left with a lot of inspiration fuel after your posts, thanks for that.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Awesome to hear that Rob, it makes my day ;)

  • Kim Jensen

    No-body will forget ‘Mars Dorian’, aka..M 2 the D! Your flavor is so refreshingly unique. (Dude, I don’t know if I could’ve made it through the ‘zeppelin’ talk, had a hard enough time with the 70′s Zeppelin Era.)

    Your fan, Kim (K 2 the J) yea..not as cool…

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      haha, M 2 the D, I like it, although it sounds a bit hip-hop-ish !

      K 2 to the J actually sounds better because of the rhyme. mmm, maybe you should create your own, branded song !

  • http://www.murlu.com Murlu

    That’s how ya do it Mars – gotta play the game until it becomes second nature and part of your persona. Most people don’t have conversation skills (I certainly don’t) but you can curve it by just doing basic things:

    1. smile
    2. eye contact
    3. ask questions

    That’s it really. You’d be surprised how much people will open up to you when you present yourself as charming and interested. People inherently want to talk about themselves so don’t hold em back – encourage it.

    As for the girls, like Lord Humongous of the Wastelands said, ‘just walk away’. Seriously. Show up, open with a bang, get some interest and then walk away. That creates an interest in them which is like an itch that needs to be scratched to the point where they hunt you down. That, or you could try booze :P

    Anyway, yeah. Just be awesome.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Lord Humongous of the Wastelands ?

      Man, I'm missing something here, Murray !
      Walking away seems like a drastic measure, but it works like white magic. I know from experience.
      Your writing style is totally fresh unique and awe-some, nice work man, nice work !

  • annahaller

    Hi Mars,

    I knew I couldn't stand too much longer to be away from your blog, you share some awesome stuff and it definitely captures me all the time.

    I never thought of asking how do I make people remember me? It is a good one to ask though as it prompts you to as you mentioned in your post open with a bang and also end with a bang too. I can definitely relate saying goodbye on a high because you're right that is the last impression you're going to leave with them until you meet again and you definitely want it to be memorable!

    Thanks for emailing me the other day, that was much appreciated and can't wait to see what you have in store for your blog. Take care and all the best!

    Anna

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Anna,

      it's important if you want to make an impact, not just marketing wise. Whenever I finish a Skype call, I always try to leave the person a bit more illuminated.
      And it was a pleasure writing your the email – I luv staying in contact with awesome people ;)

  • http://www.ndoherty.com Niall Doherty

    I’m right there with you on the name thing. My intro is always “Hi, I’m Niall… like the river.” Works great.

    What else do I do to make people remember me? I put myself out there. I used to be very cautious and would only reveal info about myself as I felt comfortable with the other person, but nowadays I try to be as honest and forthcoming as I can right away.

    Often times people are freaked out and think I’m weird (“You’re trying to put on 20lbs of muscle in 6 weeks on a vegan diet doing only one hour of exercise per week? WTF?”), but every now and then I’ll really connect with someone. Either way, I’m memorable ;-)

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      “Niall like the river”

      Sounds a big bang in the start right there !

      I like the way you care about your image.

      Your workout routine seems really crazy in a good way – man, you got eat a lot of green stuff to get that kind of weight, lol ;)

  • http://fungeezer.com Steve

    I wrote a post very similar to this a week or so ago. You did a better job! You are much more informative.

    What you say is so true! If you are interested in others, they are thrilled and tend to be interested in you as well.

    It is so obvious when talking to someone who could really give a sh%t about you.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Steve,
      so many comments here from you – nice !
      And yeah, it took me ages to show interest first. I was like most people – totally self-absorbed. Now, I always find something interesting in the other person, and it creates such a valuable dialogue !

      • http://fungeezer.com Steve Thomas – fungeezer

        Sorry about all the comments, but I just found your blog and was enthralled! You have got some really good stuff here!

  • http://nittygriddy.com/ Ingrid Abboud

    Hey Mars,
    Your article and all the advice in it could not be more on the dot! Excellent points. I wish I could say more here, but you said it all – at least the way I would :).
    Cheers

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Ingrid,

      I promise you there will be post in the future where you'll have lots to share ;)
      Especially if it's a bit more controversial.

  • http://www.newbizblogger.com Michele @ NewBizBlogger

    Hey Mars,

    Reading this post was almost better than sex! ;-) Had to throw that in…lol =)

    Awesome post…really. It really is interesting what makes you remember someone over another. It's those little details that you've mentioned.

    I especially like your last point about “going out with a bang”. I know too many people who over stay their welcome…you know what I mean?

    Make your presence know, feel good about what you did, leave the other person feeling go and graciously make your exit. Only way to go!

    Ciao for now ;-)

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Michele,

      ALMOST better than sex ? Drop the the “almost” and I agree with you !

      And yeah, I know what you mean with overstaying – this happened too many times in the past and that broke my social neck ;)
      If you want to kick-ass in networking, you better know how to play the game. I think you do.

  • Shelly Cone/BeachBettyPR

    Mars, I'm so glad I popped by your blog when I did. I've been gearing up for all the networking at BlogWorldExpo next month so the timing of this post was awesome!

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Shelly,

      you are going to BlogWorld ? Nice, I won't make it this year, but next year is definitely on my list. Have ridiculous joy and make some awesome connections there !

  • http://twitter.com/mckra1g mckra1g

    What do I do to make people remember me? I make an effort to look them in the eye (without being hypnotoad).

    Once there has been an elemental connection through eye contact, I make an effort to truly hear what they are saying and to follow up with relevant questions.

    Thanks for taking the time to write this blog entry. It makes a difference.

    Best, M.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Molly,
      yeah – being present makes a HUGE difference ! Most people seem to be half asleep when they talk to you ( I know, I was it myself )
      It's basic but having kick-ass eye contact and being fully aware can make an impact too – it doesn't always have to be the crazy stuff ;)

  • http://PowersPercussion.com Mark Powers

    Killer post, Mars! I've got a friend who answers almost every single phone call with an exuberant greeting. Sometimes it's as simple as “Hello, hello, HELLO!” But his energy and excitement to chat with the caller always kicks things off on a high note. Thanks for writing this!

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Mark,

      that sounds like an awesome friend. The sad truth is that most peeps lack that kind of energy, or are afraid to show it. We need more of 'em !

  • joshuanoerr

    You know Mars, I listened to a Dale Carnegie audio program last year about this same subject. It's called, “How to make yourself unforgettable.” It's a really great program and I recommend it highly.

    Thanks for the post!

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      That's awe-some. Thanx for the tip Joshua. I luv audio programs, currently I'm all in for Anthony Robbins, but Dale Carnegie's “how to make friends and influence people” enriched my life and that's why I'm going to check out this program.

  • http://www.ArvindDevalia.com/blog Arvind Devalia

    Excellent post, Mars. Almost as good as sex:-)

    I consider myself pretty good at building relationships and making an impact – but your article has given me ways of improving further.

    One thing I always do is to use the name of the person I have just met in the very first couple of sentences soon after. Sometimes, I even ask them to spell their name so I can remember it – and I tell them that's why I want to know. If it's an unusual name, then I ask about its origin etc.

    People seem to love talking about about themselves and their name – so give them a chance to do so!

    And of course, end on a high. Loking at them properly and making proper eye contact also does wonders when saying your goodbyes.

    • http://www.ArvindDevalia.com/blog Arvind Devalia

      PS By the way, Mars – the name is Arvind, as in Alvin Stardust but with an R instead of an L, and a D at the end:-)

      • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

        haha, you should have put that line at the beginning, but I still appreciate your effort, Arvind ;)

  • Delisa

    I'm still looking for a good way to get people to remember my name correctly. It is Delisa and just to get them to say it properly I have to tell them it is DUH Lisa. lol.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Delisa,

      I laugh the DUH Lisa approach – the DUH sound makes me always remember Homer Simpson.
      You definitely got a jewel there ;)

  • http://www.happyheartandmind.com Preeti AKA Zengirl

    Mars,

    First time here, people like it when we remember their names and we sure like it when someone remembers our name. I admit, I am terrible with some people's names, although it is never intentional. Dale Carnegie always said how to remember with association with name and something unique with it. I am working on it.

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Preeti,

      actually I don't think that there are people who are bad at remembering names – they just don't use the right method !

      The Dale Carnegie approach is awesome – I always try to find something funny / remarkable about their name which makes it easier to recall.

  • http://www.socialcubix.com/ Facebook Apps

    Oi Mars!

    Its been a long while since I've been here but nothing's changed, same old EPIC stuff :-)

    First impression is always the last impression. I remember, my first time here at your blog! My first impression was like “DAMN! This is it! This is what I was looking for! I can really learn a lot from here”. Your first impression (and of course your writing skills) is the reason why I am a regular visitor of your blog! :) So, I believe that the first impression factor is always the best way to catch someones interest!

    Loved the post! Great stuff Mars!

    Cheers,
    -Desmond! :)

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Same old EPIC ? lol, looks like I need to improve, Desmond. I have to find something that makes it better, and better, and even more better. “Same old” is never good ;)

  • http://twitter.com/yqingli Fiona Li

    Hi Mars,

    I have been reading your articles for a week or so and like it a lot. thanks for writing article that we can't find it anywhere else. I like your unique presentation and in an educational way. Plus, your creative pics always say more than a thousand words and very impressive. Yeah! thanks again, Mars. (I agree, to remember people's name is a bouns points.) :)

    Fiona

    • http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

      Hey Fiona, this must be your first comment – nice ! Thanx for that big compliment – I take a lot of care with my content – trying to make it as valuable and unique as possible and crafting every image accordingly !

  • Mike

    Great article, this is an area I am really trying to work on as it doesn't really come naturally.
    I'm going to try this actively for the next few days…. Be interested, ask questions!

    Thanks

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