Let’s be honest here – it sucks to get ignored.
Whether it’s in the offline or online world, getting ignored is the kiss of death. If no one is paying attention to you, you are dying both in life and business.
Some people say criticism is worse than getting ignored, but it’s not. Criticism means “they”…
A) …want to help you become better
B) …hate your guts and want to make sure you know it
Either way, they care enough about you that they take the time to communicate with you.
A year ago I was a sleepwalking zombie. I was alive, but in a way, I wasn’t. My body was there, but my mind wasn’t. I did most things half-assed – conversations, work and .
My (business) life is still not at the epic level I want it to be, but those following steps have helped me play a different ga
open with a bang
Not gun related, personal attitude only !
Back in the old days I was introducing myself like everyone else – hey, my name is blah blah, what’s your name blah blah…where are you from blah blah.
Oh man, I almost feel sorry for my past self. I was young and foolish, but I have learned. Now, I make sure the first encounter hits hard.
- I’m fully present. It’s just me and the person at that moment.
- I make sure they get my name the first time. Mine’s Mars, and I always add: like the red planet !
Say something which makes it easier to remember your name. If your name is standard or difficult to recall, break it down. Use a picture, or a funny anecdote to help people remember it. I had a small friend called Felix, and he’d always add: like Felix the cat ! People never forgot.
- Start with an unusual opener. This works for both email and real life talk. Say or write something which is out of the ordinary. A line which captures one’s full attention because it’s unusual. I wrote a first time message to a blogger recently where I said that reading his blog was almost better than sex ! Not only was this true, but it also helped him remember me. Who else starts an intro like that ? Not many. And that’s your asset.
Do something valuable and unique in the opener. Make sure the person remembers your name.
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
You’ve just shot yourself into your target’s memory
if you want to be interesting, be interested
I read this line in some book and thought it was utter rubbish. Being interested in something or someone doesn’t really make you interesting, or does it ?
This is my experience:
A year ago, I went to an artsy-fartsy exhibition. I met this one guy, somewhere in his forties, vibrating with joy. I asked him what’s happening, and he started talking about his “amazing” project – establishing a Zeppelin company together with a pilot school.
Now I couldn’t care less about Zeppelins. All I knew was that they got shot down like crazy during World War 2, and that didn’t scratch my interest. But I admired his passion for the topic, and I faked interest in the beginning. Sooner than later, I became really interested in his talk.
I started asking questions:
How big is your Zeppelin going to be ? What, you want to establish your own pilot academy for that ? How do you actually hand-build a prototype ?
Questions over questions and 3 hours later, I was a semi-expert on Zeppelins.
When I met this guy again a few months later, he was still raving about our “conversation”. He remembered my name, and thanked me for being such a grrreat conversationalist.
What, me ? But I only asked questions ! Exactamente ! The guy found me interesting because I was interested.
Sadly, most people aren’t interested. The good thing is when you are, and you show it, you will EASILY stand out.
- when you talk to someone, make it a conscious effort to be interested in what the person has to say. Even if it’s the most trivial trash in the world, ask yourself silently: what is interesting about the person and his/her topic ? You will ALWAYS find something.
- same goes for online relationships. If you read a post or a comment, approach it with an open mind. What’s interesting about it ? Find it and give feedback (a thank you note or a compliment ?). People will thank you for being interested…and will remember you.
(Hint: it also works for women !)
close with a bang
It not only matters how you start, but how you finish, and I don’t mean going six feet under.
When the (online) conversation is about to end, how do you finish ?
I actually have a history of finishing horribly. Especially with women and girls. When the energy was the lowest, that’s when I said goodbye. Argh !
Good luck with calling them after that. Game over !
Let that never happen to you. Whether is an offline or Skype conversation, always…ALWAYS leave that person on a high !
And I don’t mean drugging them, but leaving them feel-good.
Are they laughing ? Smiling ? Feeling really good ?
When the energy is goood, THAT’S when you say goodbye !
Why ? Because when they see and talk to you again, they remember the last thing that they associated with you. And if that happened to be a good feeling, then you just hit their jackpot !
conclusion
I wish I did this all the time, but honestly, I don’t. Using these approaches demands a lot of energy and attention. But whenever I want to make a meaningful relationship or impact, I do it.
What do you do to make people remember you ?
Shoot me in the comments !
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