The Easy and Fun Way to Influence People Online…You’ll Luv This one

by MarsDorian · 35 comments

Kick-ass image credit: Daquella Manera

Hello fellow Digital Crusaders, I hope you all had a kick-ass weekend !!!

This already the 4th part of my Creative Propaganda series. Part 1, 2, 3 can be found here:

Want to convince people online ? This is what you need…

You Can Do this To Dramatically Increase Your Online Sales…But You May Sell Your Soul Along The Ride !

It’s a 6 part series which is based on Robert B. Cialdini’s: Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion , applied to the online world.

You learn how to influence people online and make them take action !

Sounds cool ? I bet.

Let’s dive deeply into numero 4:

Liking – I like you soo much I’ll do anything for you…

People are easily persuaded by other people that they like.

This seems like no-brainer, but it’s more powerful than you think.

You buy from people that you like. You are even willing to buy lower quality stuff because you like the people you buy from. Pure loyalty.
You are easier influenced by people who are good-looking. Guys, if a smoking hot girl/woman approaches you and asks for a favor, you know you can’t say no. You know it from experience. (PS: the pic above shows my ex-girlfriend. I’m glad she never used her beauty to manipulate me. Or did she ?)

Liking is a powerful weapon of influence, and it’s excessively used by marketing people. The main method is always the same: Make people compliant by being likeable. They link the likeable part to the product/service, and therefore make the product more likeable.You experience it all the time. Ever wondered why you always see hot women dancing in Barcadi commercials ?

Hot women + product. Hot women + product. Product = hot !

Liking in the online world

If you like someone online, you tend to support that person in one way or another. It could be a tweet, a comment or even the purchase of a product.

I personally luv Seth Godin, and that’s why I buy his books. Heck, I even buy the books from him that I don’t like. And I always pay full price, even though I could always get a cheaper deal. That’s loyalty, and loyalty springs from liking.

So what do you have to do to be more likeable ?

You must be good-looking. Attractive people have an easier time influencing people, because our brains thinks:

Attractiveness = Good qualities

That’s why sooo many women read Mashable. It’s not (only) because they provide valuable info, it’s because of that tiny avatar that shows Mr. eye candy Pete Cashmore.

Sheesh, I know this one’s unfair. Thank mother nature for wiring our neurons like that. The next one is more forgiving:

You must be similar. Now this one is much easier. You are more likely to influence people that are similar to you. That’s why A Gideon Shalwick teams up with Yaro Starak and that’s why a Johnny B. Truant buys and gets coaching from Naomi Dunford. Like attracts like.

You must show up. This one is even easier. Build a kick-ass (online) relationship by simply interacting with your favorite digital crusader. If constant conversation happens under positive circumstances, you will like each other in no time. I know this from my own experience.

And in general: Just be cool to people and they tend to be cool with you.

But please, don’t make the mistake of pleasing everyone. If you are TRYING to make people like you, you will fail, and you fail miserably. Nothing is more repulsive than a phony person – people avoid them the plague.

What you must know about liking

People are easily persuaded by other people that they like

Attractiveness: Hot people have an easier time influencing people

Similarity: We love people that are like us. Instant rapport guaranteed.

Praise: If you compliment me in a genuine way, I’m more likely to follow your demands. Genuine is the magic word here. If I figure out that you’re complimenting me just because you want something from me, you come across as fake. Which vaporizes your credibility. And dignity. Being real is more fun anyways..

familiarity: If I see you again and again under positive circumstances, we’ll arrive quickly on the liking lane. Teamwork is a way of achieving that: Let’s do something epic together, and we are brothers, at least in the spiritual sense ;)

wrap up.

From all the weapons of influence I have listed so far, liking is definitely the easiest one to obtain. If you want to influence people online, you just have to be likeable. But be it in an authentic and real way – please only the people you want to please, and don’t care about the rest. I promise you, it will make you more likeable ;)

Please Retweet and Facebook-share the message !

Tagged as: liking, marketing, online business, persuasion

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http://jonathanbutterworth.com Jonathan Butterworth

Mars, Great post! You are spot on about not trying to please everyone. I think this is something a lot of people struggle with at first because no one wants to be disliked especially if we are just starting off online.

We must realize that there will always be someone that doesn’t like us for what ever reason and accept that.

Also, if someone doesn’t like you and is talking about you that could play to your advantage because they are giving you free publicity. The people that read that person’s rants can decide for themselves what they think of you.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey, thanx for your input, Jonathan

and you are right – any publicity is good publicity, because it will always result in traffic. Too many people worry about pleasing everyone, which is an epic fail in my eyes. Just go out and rock your part of the world, people will join you if it's valuable..

http://www.virtualbusinesslifestyle.com/ Chris C. Ducker

Hi Mars

Excellent article here, buddy.

You're spot on when you discuss loyalty and people being quite happy to even pay full whack, if they get a product/service they like some SOMEONE they like.

Keep kickin'.

Chris

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Heylo Chris,

yeah – I want to build an online business where (some) people luv you soo much that they become true loyal fans. All cool brands have that magic around them.

http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan

Mars your posts are real. Just had to mention!

When we like people we tend to do things for them. It's a natural human tendency. That's why being a good person is vital to your success.

EXcellent point about trying to get everybody to like you. I can resonate with this, as I've struggled with not wanting to piss people off throughout my life and career as an entrepreneur. But I made a strong shift recently and feel awesome being me!

Guess what? Even if you're the nicest guy on earth, people will hate you for what you stand for. You can't get everybody to like you. You'll be seen as a phony, you'll be unhappy because you will be living other people's lives and you'll be broke to boot.

RB

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

That was one of my biggest revelations last year, Ryan.

I thought I had to please people (especially in my extended family), but that felt like high treason. You won't get along with some people, it's a fact. Now you don't have to deride them (has no value), but you don't have to force yourself to be nice either.
Anthony

I agree. I think that's why I keep comin' back. I'm tired of the “everything is fluffy rabbits” bloggers. Mars is positive, but he doesn't try to cover up what's really going on, hence this series on psychology.

I like Jordan Cooper as well. He doesn't pull any punches. He's pretty hilarious as well.

http://www.stevescottsite.com/ Steve Scott Site

You're right. Sometimes “being cool to people” in whatever way you're comfortable doing so usually works out for the best, but it's also important to learn how and when to say no. You covered that one when you said that trying to please everyone typically doesn't work out. I can also speak from experience when I say that's completely true!

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Steve, yeah,
it's all about finding your original self, and knowing what you want to do and what not. Concentrating on your beliefs and rocking the world of people that think the same is an awesome strategy for that.

http://www.making-your-own-website.com NA | Create Your First Website

It's true. It is always good to be nice to people.

You will see, that they will be good to you in return.

I read on a blog recently, that people (Offline) want to be nice, but they are afraid of the reaction and outcome.

But the anonymous nature of the internet makes people be nice because they are not afraid of the outcome and then people can be nice in return.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

yeah,

but I personally don't like the anonymous style. The internet can be a grrreat tool to make things personal again, an I believe you have to leverage that. You should be nice because you want to, not because you are afraid of some outcome !

ralphcarlson

Mars,
I've been otherwise occupied and have some reading to do with this series. I need to kick up my branding a notch or two. I keep discounting it as something I will get to but as you make clear, it all goes together.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

lol,

don't wait, soak it all up and then unleash your creative marketing ;)
If you want to dominate your part of the web, that is ;)

http://www.mikestenger.com Mike Stenger

People buy from those they know, like, and trust. So yeah Mars, having people like you is one part of that equation. You can't force or don't want to force people to like you, however, if you build a relationship and bring value to their day, you can become liked.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

yeah, especially if you like..no…LUV yourself, you usually radiate an aura that attracts like-minded people.

http://www.giveabrick.com/ Eleanor Edwards

I've been enjoying this series but this is my favourite so far by miles. It ties in with something being talked about on Website in a Weekend last week when the conclusion drawn was that being lovely rocked. I was over the moon!

As I said over there, when I applied for jobs, there was never a box to tick for being lovely. For the first time in my life I've finally found myself in a position where I can just be me and it is enough. I love it!

P.S. I read Mashable via my phone and as such, had never been initiated into the Pete Cashmore appreciation society. But you're right, he's a babe ;)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Eleanor,

while I wouldn't call myself lovely in any way, I'm in a for creative and inspiring ruckus, and that seems likeable to some people ;)

And yeah, old job descriptions suck. The real important factors (being awesome, playful and caring for others) are never listed anyways.

The thing about Cashmore was more a joke, but it seems to be a magnet factor for quite a lot women ;)

http://www.giveabrick.com/ Eleanor Edwards

You're right Mars, likeable can reveal itself in different forms for different people. You hit in spot on when you talked about being genuine. That's probably the important thing.

As for the lovely Mr Cashmore, I got it, but I still think he's rather pretty ;)

http://www.gurls-asylum.us Gurl

While I know you're right, point number one makes me sad. The attractive things about me don't show too well in pictures. Or maybe I am being over critical..*shrugs* Great points, and I am good at the second and third ones. Will just have to be so great at them the first doesn't matter so much ;)

http://www.giveabrick.com/ Eleanor Edwards

Don't be sad Jenn. Attractiveness is hugely subjective and is as much about sparkle and a certain something as it is about being pretty. Personally I think the first point is the least important. Maybe that's just the geeky girl in me talking because I was never part of 'the' crowd ;) You're fab and don't you forget it :D

http://www.gurls-asylum.us Gurl

Ahh, but your such a cutie. I've seen your vids ;) Thanks so much for the kind words. I know my main attractiveness isn't something one can see in a photo. And I am fine with that. Ppl who know me know my smile, my eyes, and my wicked sense of humor will influence people. Luckily some of that is easy to get across online :)

http://www.prisqua.com Prisqua

Being “hot” or “attractive” for a woman can be a very bad thing too, personality is more important but we live in a world ruled by men so it takes them a while to see through lmao
As long as you feel good about yourself, that is all it should matter.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Jenn,

like I said, the first point is the only thing you can't influence (that much) , but the others can be leveraged to a great extent. Character and aura can make the biggest impact – if you emit that positive energy that makes people draw to you.

http://www.gurls-asylum.us Gurl

Hey Mars. My comment was tongue in cheek… I know that not being a super model in looks won't hurt me too much. I've got a lot of other things ppl like about me. :) I do my best to stay positive, or at least make the negative into a lesson so we can keep moving in a positive direction together :)

srinirao

Mars,

Good stuff. I've read the Cialdini book years ago, but I think you are doing a great job with this series. Perhaps one thing we should look at is doing a joint series on something. I'll send you an email about it. As far as people we like, I absolutely agree. I go to a particular surf shop in town because the staff is so friendly and sometimes it's more expensive to go there. Funny how that works.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Cool story with the surf shop. And the fact that you are willing pay more it shows how strong liking can influence you. I believe you can only be loyal if you like or better…LUV something or someone !!

matthewneedham

Hey Mars, this is really great point you raise here. People do business with people they like period. So, everyone needs to work on their likeability factor.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

good evening Matthew,

yeah, and it will also help in the offline world ;) It's awesome to see that the easiest principles always seem to be the best.

annahaller

Yes, it is very important for people to like you and in the digital world it's a bit harder to do that but once you've broken that barrier then there will be open lines of communication and that's where the loyalty comes in.

Once people get to know you and like you then they will buy from you again and again and hang around you just because you have a magnetic and likeable personality.

As for pleasing everyone I always say some will like you, some won't like you, so what or for short some will, some won't, so what! Life is too short to live your life for someone else, make the most out of it and be true to yourself and love yourself no matter what.

Anna

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Especially the last part is there is to say. Nothing to add, besides a question: I'm always interesting in my readers, do you have a website or social media profile ?

http://realregcurereviews.com/ Tony Lee

Nice article. I'm a huge fan of Cialdini, and I've tried to employ his principles wherever I can.

Changing my blog to include a nice smiling pictures lowered bounce rates, improved comment rate, and was all around a boost for the site.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Tony, I luv the story with the smiling pictures. That's awe-some, but was that really the only reason why you got a boost for your site ?
COol nevertheless, psychology is everything.