Self-promotion stinks – There’s a better and more effective way to spread your message

by MarsDorian · 23 comments

Note: This is an unofficial sequel to my last post:

How to Massively Spread Your Online Influence – The Superfast Way

Please read it if you haven’t already. It will help you to fully leverage this tactic.

If you are a diligent Twitter user like me, you’ll find a lot of those:

Peeps who constantly self-promote. They tweet their posts, their products and their services. And they do it all the time.

The think they get more eyeballs, but they don’t realize the bad after taste that accompanies self-promotion.

Don’t get me wrong, I tweet my stuff also. But I have a ratio where I promote at least 80% other stuff, and leave the rest to me.

Check out these mavericks:

Seth Godin
Glen from Viperchill
Chris Guillebeau from AONC

Do you see them constantly self-promoting their stuff ? Of course not. When Glen writes a post, he tweets it once, and lets his fans unleash the virus. Same with Seth and Chris. When they create something new, they just ignite the spark and let their community inflame the wildfire.

The best promotion happens when other people promote you.

I want to clarify that with a personal story:

When I go to a party and see a girl I want to hit on, I do this:

I ask one of my friends to ignite a conversation with her. The talk will unfold, and it will usually be about me ;) My friend will say: Yeah, I have a cool friend, Mars, he’s really killing it. He’s such a sincere guy, and he brings soo much energy into life etc.

The message will always be positive, but very subtle.

Then, 30 or 40 mins later, I “accidently” bump into that girl my friend just talked to. I introduce myself, and almost always get the following response : Oh, you’re that guy that (name) was talking about. And then she smiles.

Boom. I positively influenced her mind before even starting a real conversation. She thinks good of me now, and that’s a grrreat place to start from ;)

But why does this work so well ?

I found out that:

People don’t care what you say about yourself, but what others say about you.

If you tell people how freaking epic you are, you are unlikely to impress. Grand self-promotion stinks. But if someone else announces that you are freaking awe-some, it’s a whole different game.

The goal is to make others say good things about you.

Now if you don’t have a raving fan base (yet), you can use the following kick-ass tactic:

Get in contact with your online partner/alliance (you do have one, right?), and tell them what kind of message you want them to spread about you. If you want be known as a Marketing Maverick, tell them.

It could be:

a tweet: Damn, this is a true marketing maverick (insert url here)
a comment: Dude, you are A MARKETING Maverick
Or any kind of digital message that’s visible to others

You can use it to promote anything: Services/post/products etc. What ever you want to hear about you and your stuff, tell them. They will take the role of your raving fans and ignite the word of mouth fire.

As long as your partner in crimes do the job in moderation, you are good to go.

Conclusion

I encourage you to work towards a future where people want to naturally spread the word about you. But every beginning is hard, and a little help from your alliance is very welcome. Let them promote you, and vice versa.

Unleash the viral marketing !

And please retweet and Facebook- share the message !

kick-ass photo: Kevin Dooley

Tagged as: brand, Branding, business, Influence, marketing, online business, promotion

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http://www.making-your-own-website.com NA | Create Your First Website

You are right Mars.

It is way more effective if other people promote you (or your blog/product/service), than you yourself doing it.

People actually trust more when someone else recommends it. There is just more credibility when someone else promotes someone, rather than doing it yourself.

Nabeel

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

lol, everything works in moderation. But you always want to make sure that others promote your stuff. It helps when you have partners who help you out in the beginning.

http://www.waliqfactory.com/ Michel J. Gagnon

I like the “People don’t care what you say about yourself, but what others say about you.” And we tend to talk so much about ourselves. The world needs more Carnegie.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Yeah, Everyone loves talking about themselves. It's a true art listening to other people, but once you master it, it's a blessing.

annahaller

So that's how you hit on the girls huh Mars?! I like that approach, it's like they know a little about you before they actually know you which is definitely what you want when you're attracting others to you.

You want to give them just enough so that you sound interesting and then they will want to go check out more of your stuff. Plus, word of mouth is the best way to market, it's viral and you also create a buzz among people.

Anna

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Haha, I sometimes to do it, Anna. There's no fun in repeating everything all the time.
But having your group spreading the fire is really useful, and fun too. You miss out if you don't do it.

srinirao

Mars,

Soon you will have to come to the US and be my wingman:). Smart, smart, advice about women is awesome. As far as promoting goes in the online world, I couldn't agree more since I built an entire site on the concept of promoting other people. My co-worker and I were just talking about the vanity of social media/blogging in general. I think we all want to be heard and respected so when somebody gives us a shoutout it's a great feeling. I will have to test out this method of talking to girls and report back to you. Maybe you can build an online dating site based solely on that concept. Food for thought ;)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

HEy Srini,

maybe that's worth a project, lol.
I luv that kind of marketing where you help each other out, and create an awesome perception of how you want to be perceived.
Try it, it's really powerful, but be sure your wingman is subtle ;)

http://www.websitebegin.com Joe Boyle

Wow, great post, Mars

I got quite a laugh out of your story about hitting on girls… Lol…

I definitely agree with the fact that other people's opinions are more important than yours when it comes to how you are. How good you are – your skill. Great post, once more :D

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Joe,

thanx man, it's a cool offline/online tactic, with kick-ass results. Sometimes.
Working towards that future where others spread the luv about me. We are all going to get there, eventually.

http://twitter.com/Murlu Murray Lunn

Haha, Mars, you're a smooth criminal.

I would do the same when going to bars with my friends – throw in an occasional joke or statement then chill back, have a drink and chat with other friends – later on the conversation would pick up.

(Of course I can't do that now since the GF heh)

But yeah, you're spot on about no overly promoting yourself. You gotta set it up so your involvement is minimal and doesn't come across as forced.

If you can create a fever around your brand and set the promotion up – let your readers do the rest while you begin working on the next item.

Great subject Mars

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

thanx Murray,

it's an awesome tactic, and it works really well.
A network that supports each other and spreads the message. Sounds like a real crusade ;)
Can't wait to reach the point where the fire really starts spreading. Sooon.

http://josiahstaggs.com josiahstaggs

This is powerful stuff. Quite frankly, i'm impressed. Thanks for the insight.

P.S. Very eye-catching photo ;)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

thanx.
that's what I'm here for

http://www.eleanoredwards.co.uk Eleanor Edwards

Hope none of the girls from around your way hang out on your blog. They'll be on to you Mars ;)

I was thinking about this whole alliance thing and have come to the conclusion that as much as it is good to have stuff in place so everyone in the alliance knows what they're doing for everyone else, a lot of it (for me anyway) is also about the friendship side of things. I met one of my best friends on Twitter. We've hung out in real life but if you can connect and have fun in 140 characters, you know that meeting offline is going to be a blast!

I wouldn't want to be in an alliance just to get my name out there. I'd want it to be about the friendship and connection first.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

That's awesome Eleanor,
and friendship can actually happen when you pick people that are like-minded and have similar goals. No need to exclude – it can all go together.And why not mix it with helping each other out ? A strong alliance is a grreat way to reach the surface of the web ocean ;)
that's a cool story with your friend. It just shows that everything can happen !

http://www.getinthehotspot.com/ Annabel, Get In The Hot Spot

Lol, you're good to go:) I think you can promote yourself but you have to be subtle (eg. Just been named Australian business woman of the Year!) OK, that doesn't look so subtle now but it's the same thing you're doing with the girs – providing social proof that someone else rates you which is much more powerful than singing your own praises:)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Annabel, of course you can promote yourself. But if you are the only one promoting yourself, it doesn't feel good. It's much more powerful when others do it, either in alliance-or fan-form ;)

http://www.writersaddict.net/ Ryan Hanzel

This is great advice Mars. The classical friend talking you up high school tactic, I am sure many of us can relate. You are absolutely right though. In my eyes a person can say anything about themselves and lie it up if they like but 9 times out of 10 the community will tell the truth.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Ryan,

better to have the buddy ;)

http://seanandlauren.com Lauren

That's about 1,000% true. A 2nd hand recommendation from a trusted person is way more powerful than self promoting talk. If someone is talking about how flipping cool they are, they have to back it up with undeniable proof in less than 30 seconds… or it often comes off as hot air.

Building a tight-knit tribe is crucial for this. (What you call an online alliance) Besides, I think it's much more fun to speak well of my tribe – who I genuinely adore – than to promote myself. There's a time and a place, but overall I think you're exactly right: Self promotion stinks.

BTW, love your example with meeting the ladies. Way to hit the point home ;)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Heya Lauren,

Just checked out your site. Cool couple, and I luv the message !

Yeah – sometimes you have to promote yourself a bit, especially in the beginning, but as you move on, you want others to spread the word about you. One just has to know how to network the awe-some way ;)

alexwhalley

Hey Mars,
Title of this caught my eye and man you have it bang on. You summed up the whole post when you said 'People don’t care what you say about yourself, but what others say about you.'
Social proof is such a contributing factor and it goes beyond 'proof' to others that you are popular and becomes a case where those followers want to 'prove' to others that they follow you. Brilliant story too man. I'm locking up my daughter when you come down under my friend! :)
Thanks for an awesome read Mars, I needed that after the last few posts