You can’t please ‘em all !

by MarsDorian

Let’s get personal

I actually wanted to write a way different post today, (don’t worry, you get that one, too !) but there are lot of things happening with this blog, and I want to share it with you !

In the beginning my little baby here (yes, the blog!) got very very very few comments, which was to be expected. I couldn’t articulate my own voice, and my writing was as bland as Hollywood’s obsession with remakes – the few comments that I got were decent, which is nothing to be proud of.

I didn’t like my blog, and I didn’t like my style – because it was nothing like my personality in the offline world. SHoooom. Fast forward.

enter Mars

3 weeks ago I vaporized the remnants of mediocrity and sharpened that original voice within me: I started video blogging and put more personal style and substance into my blog posts. As soon as I made this shift, I saw my traffic and comments dramatically increasing, and looking at my stats from today (Tuesday, 20th of April) I’m about to break my personal record.

This is the part where it gets interesting

The more you bring out your original voice and the more passionate you tend to become – the closer you move into the crossfire. It seems as natural as breathing oxygen. Have you ever noticed that boring and decent people get average remarks – bland stuff like : nice, ok , friendly and so on. The more extreme you become with your style, the more you divide those opinions: The middle disappears – people either luv your style or hate it.

I’ve started getting criticism; some of it is constructive, some of it is just about deconstructing my personal style.

They criticize

my style of writing
my ego
my comments
my guest posts
my passion in my videos
my lack of personality (?)

and yadda yadda yadda. Listen, I luv creative feedback, but if I get several emails from the same persons telling my how they dislike my style, I can’t help but think: Why the heck are you still reading my blog ??

There are a million others to choose from – I’m not chaining you to this one. The gates are open my friend – look at the horizon – endless blogs that are waiting for YOU to comment on !

If you don’t like mine then please don’t read it !

Seriously, you’re wasting your precious time. If you dislike me now, wait till you read and watch my upcoming stuff. Man, you are going to hate it ;)

I’ve thought about some brands lately, and this is what I’ve come up with:

Cool brands polarize, safe brands compromise. A safe brand wants to please the entire market, a maverick brand only wants to please the part that accepts their way of doing things. They get less market share, but tend to have a more raving fan base.

Apple = polarize

Microsoft= compromise

I want to be become the Apple brand of blogging. I want to establish deep connections with the people that like what I’m doing, and I want to get rid of the rest that thinks I’m meshugga.

It’s alive, it’s intense and authentic – a life blazing with endless fire inside – the way I like it.

I don’t know about you, but I rather polarize by being myself rather than trying to please everyone by compromising.

What do you have to say to this ?

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http://www.jewelry-secrets.com/ Richard Scott

lol a meshugga? I've never heard of that, but I like the way it sounds.

I never understand that either. If people don't like you or like your message, there's the door. Don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out. lol

I'm all for your style. It's crazy and wacky and out there. It's a breath of fresh air when so many bloggers are boring and talking about the same ole topic.

And how could they critisizer your personality? Are they blind?

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Richard,

Meshugga is a Yiddish word for beings nuts or crazy, in a bad way ;)
And I don't mind people criticizing me – but if I get the same rants over and over again then it's simply a waste of time. Believe, the next months I'm showing more of my personality, and I can't wait to see the flak !

Joe

Meshugge means crazy, but not necessarily in a bad way. It can be quite a compliment.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Thanks for clarifying that Joe.
Even better !

http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan

Here's the deal with people who continually criticize; they're miserable with their lives and want to bring you with them.

Try not to get too caught up in it. I've had a few commenters deride cash gifting; they got one “Thanks for your personal opinion” response. Beyond that they were ignored, deleted, and blacklisted. Like a little puppy, when you ignore them they go away. Never, ever get in a pissing match. Don't even bother engaging if they are overly critical. This is one of the blessings of the internet: block buttons, blacklisting buttons, delete buttons. All can be clicked in a split second and a person heads into oblivion.

Mars as your presence expands both the good and bad in people will be accentuated. Just do a “Justin Bieber” search on twitter to see what I mean. It takes super human will power at times to block out the miserable SOBs but the more you ignore them they exit stage left quickly. All they want is attention; when you starve them of it they wither and die.

Keep in mind I'm talking about people needlessly criticizing you. Those with constructive feedback might sting you, even if they're friendly, because the ego develops a hard shell which takes things personally. You don't strike me as that kind of guy though.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Ryan,
Looks like you have a lot of experience.
And yep, I don't worry too much about it – I get used to it, and because it's starting to become a part of my online life !

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com Karen

Well, I like your style. It's totally unique and uniquely you :-)

Could not understand those people who don't like what you have to say and yet read you and even leave a message? What's up with that? :-)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Karen,

Yeay, I don't get it either – if every comment you ever make is just pure criticism – then what's the point of it ?

http://www.mikestenger.com Mike Stenger

Just do you. Always. That's how I see it. The thing is, there will always be haters and critics. I like to look at criticism because it can be helpful when the person giving it to you is genuinely caring and wanting to see you become better, however, there will be those who say mean or hateful things just to say it.

So be it. Keep being yourself and doing what you do best. You can't please everybody, so you might as well focus on pleasing yourself and those that do actually care. Wow, now did that sound weird or what? :-)

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Mike, sounds perfectly reasonable,

Great feedback with honest criticism is awesome, after all you want to improve. But if criticism is all you ever give and shows a lot about who you are !

http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

What I've done is develop a bulletproof identity that I'm comfortable with by writing solidly between the lines.

But… and this is big…

All that “between the lines” content is solid technically accurate material. That is, it's useful.

Having mastered the rules, now I bend the rules.

Or break them.

While still maintaining accuracy and precision (and there is a difference).

On to the haters…

Strangely, I don't get many haters. I'm not sure why. It might be that I'm “too safe.” Or it might be a vibe I put out that renders “hating” on me a waste of time.

In the past, I have a gone a few rounds. Now, I engage politely and with respect, and offer an invitation to the virtual door. Anyone attempting to escalate simply gets deleted after that. Or blocked on Twitter. Or whatever. Problem solved.

No one can force you engage, if you don't let them.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Thanks for your voice, Dave !

Technical and/or pure useful posts tend to get less flak,
but once you pour your whole character in, it starts raining edgy comments. And I'm ok with that, but I don't get people complaining over and over again instead of just ignoring it.

http://www.newmediasideshow.com Marek

I really think that if you don’t have some haters, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re on the cutting edge of any area, there is disagreement over a lot of things.

Now, depending on your style you might get more or less haters, but you should at least get people who disagree with you. If you don’t the stuff you’re talking about is probably stale.

If people give you constructive criticism, you should engage them. If they just want to tear you down as others have mentioned, ignore them. The things that YOU do have to come from YOUR mind and style, not from some hack who has nothing better to do than complain!

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Exactly Marek,

if it's coming from you, it's simply your style – like the air you breathe – you can not neglect it for the sake of someone else.

And yeah, not offending anyone is a sign of you being average, no matter how positive and inspiring your message – the more you bring out your original voice the more likely you'll get attacked for it.

IvanaSendecka

Hey Mars!
What a coincidence, just few moments ago, I have sent an email to a person who has sent really nasty comment on my blog.
And I have used same words: “I am sorry for wasting your precious time on my blog. I trust you will find something more suitable for you in other blogs…”

Indeed, one cannot please everyone and that is good thing, I believe!;-)

Keep on rocking Mars, you are doing great job

cheers,
i.

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Ivana,

Thanks for sharing your story. That wasn't a coincidence, it's synchrodestiny ! I make I sure I sharpen my edges to really bring out 150% of my style !

http://entrepreneurblogr.com james

Rock on, Mars… let them hate. take critics seriously only when it is contructive. Focus on the positives as well…. just like the ones in this comment thread.
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Diggy

Mars,
Cool post. Personally I don't like apple much although I have an ipod and iphone. Those are cool but mac computers…bleh.:P

You can please anyone but not everyone, as soon as you try to please everyone,you lose. Select a niche and cater exclusively to them. I'd say the more exclusive you are to a certain niche, the better you will do.

Cheers!

http://www.marsdorian.com/ Mars Dorian

Hey Diggy,

yeah, exclusivity is always kick-ass if you manage to dominate it. Pleasing everyone = losing everyone

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