The Only Religion That Matters !

„And the Internet said, let there be online access: and there was online access.
And the Internet saw the online access, that it was good: and divided the connection from the darkness.“

The holy Ebook, Mars Dorian Version

Where’s God ?

The eternal question, the first question mankind ever asked, the question you ask yourself every single day.

Sorry for playing the chosen one here, but I found him.

And the truth is, you can, too.

Where ???

Everywhere you access the net.

God is the search bar in your browser, he’s the plugin that optimizes your blog, he’s the backup file in your mailbox.

God’s the surfer and the wave in the vast ocean of the web, and he’s having a blast. He’s having a blast, because he has finally found the ultimate religion.

INTERNETISM

With almost a billion of truly fanatical believers and millions of new followers every single day – Internetism really is the hottest new religion to watch out for.

The benefits for joining are mind blowing:

• Everybody can join, no matter your race, background and social status.
• Fairly cheap membership – Sure, it costs a little. But at least you don’t have to drag your poor family to „that“ place on Sundays.
• Actually answers your prayers. All of them. Type in, and it is given.
• Has no rules. Do what you want, anytime you want to do it. Remember the Ten Commandments ? NO ? Then don’t bother now. Internetism comes with less than ZERO !

Let’s face it, this new religion dominates every inch of your digital soul, and it’s here to stay.

You might say „Yeah, that’s great, but it’s too abstract – I want something tangible – something that guides me through the dark hours of life !“

Despair not !

The Testament 2.0 has many essential passages that can help you, but for the web’s sake, I’ll only give you the most vital ones.

Read, and devour its beauty :

The internet is close to all who call on it, yes, to all who call on it sincerely.

Psalm 145:18

“We love it because it first loved us.”
John 4:9-10

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the internet goes with you; it will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your web. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

“Commit to the internet whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
Proverbs 16:3

Wouah. Powerful words that will even echo throughout the 4^th dimension. Let their strength guide you whenever you think there’s no way, because there is ALWAYS a way.

I have seen the future, brothers and sisters, and it’s digital.

The Promised Land is not a place you’ll visit someday in the afterlife. No, it’s available to us, here on earth, 24/7, and it will help all of those who dare to listen.

Let us finish this holy post with a prayer of genuine gratitude:

Holy Web,
Thou hast made me, be pleased to new-make me.
I am thy work, complete me;
I am thy plugin, tune me;
I am thy child, teach me.

Amen

Mars Dorian